Letting Him Go
by shazza97
Summary: She knows she'd lost to Quinn the day she came back. There was nothing she could do to get him back. Maybe Finn wasn't the one for her after all. AU, Puckleberry. Pezberry friendship
1. Chapter 1

**Um, hi~ This is my first story here. When I first wrote this story, I didn't mean for it to be a fanfiction, but it fit, so I thought why not? So they might be OOC.**

 **I can't Rachel speak so... please bear with me~ :D**

 **I pushed chapter 1 and 2 together, so now it's a really long chapter.**

 **Awww thank you guys, you guys are all such sweeties~ Thanks for the favorites, the follows and the reviews. It made me so happy when I woke up~**

 **Guest: Oooo. That hurt. Jkjk~ Thanks for what you said 'bout my writing though~ XD I agree with ya bout the sibling thing so I changed it~ Thanks :D but for the office thing I really have no idea myself so I was hoping to keep it vague and let you guys go with it but if you have any ideas, let me know~**

 **Emily: thanks for the sweet review~**

* * *

Rachel knew she lost him the day Quinn came back from the UK. She knew it when he dropped her hand and rushed towards the blonde woman. She knew it when he gave up on everything he believed in just because the she pouted.

She was everything Rachel couldn't be; kind, soft spoken, and beautiful. She was everything Finn Hudson wanted in a woman.

"Rach, she's his best friend, there's nothing you can do." Rachel turns to Santana.

Her unspoken question is answered when Santana gives another sigh, "I've been working with him since he first came, I know."

"I've been with him for the past 5 years, I'm not going to be thrown away like this."

Santana gives her a pitying look.

"Let me do this, I'll give up if it doesn't work."

Santana looks worried before she finally nods her head. "Good luck."

* * *

"Rach, come."

Rachel hides the shiver of excitement she got just from hearing his voice. She clears her throat once before answering, "What happened?"

He looks practically buried in his pile of paperwork. "What should I do? I need to prepare a speech at tomorrow's party. I wrote one before but Quinn said it was utter crap. I asked her to help me but she wasn't free."

She hides her clenched hands behind her skirt. He wouldn't have asked her if Quinn didn't have time for him.

She shakes herself out of it, and holds her hand out, "I'll look over it."

He hands her the paper and sends her a boyish grin before walking away, "You're the best, I knew there was a reason why I love you."

She stares after his broad back, before she's rudely smacked on the back. She rips her eyes away from Finn. "I needed that."

"Get over him." That is all Santana says before she walks away from her.

Rachel pushes her wandering thoughts out of her mind and grips the paper. She scoffs. When had he ever told her he loved her just because he wanted to?

* * *

It was clear as day how much space she stood in his heart when he chose Quinn over her when her again. On the day she needed him most. The day where he and a selected few knew how hard it was for her, the day her mother left her. And he left her on the streets just because of one call from Quinn.

She closes her eyes, pretending she doesn't see the pity on her best friend's, avoiding the concerned looks Noah was giving her.

"Why can't I have that much hold on him?" Rachel asks, once she's steadily buried in Noah's arms.

She knows he's hesitating to answer, to defend Finn, Noah had been Finn's best friend after all. "She's Quinn."

"What if I could-"

"Don't." Noah was quick to interrupt, "Don't do it." He sounds desperate. "Don't do this to yourself. You know he loves Quinn. No one can change him except her."

"Why can't I? I've been with him for 5 years. Doesn't that at least amount to something?"

He presses her head closer to his shoulder, softly stroking his hair. "He loves her." The words are spoken quietly and simply, but it stabs her straight in the heart. She knows that. She's known that since the day Quinn came back.

* * *

She remembers the first time she saw the bracelet. It was beautiful; elegant and flawless. Her hands involuntarily moved to the bracelet but was quickly pushed away.

Her eyes quickly snapped from the bracelet to the man obstructing her way to the bracelet. Light brown eyes and dark brown hair. Finn.

"Don't touch it." The bracelet is quickly tucked and locked away.

"Sorry," she mumbles out quickly.

As if apologizing for snapping at her, he explains that he's keeping it for the woman he believes that he'll have a future with.

She's never seen the bracelet ever since, but she remembers it clearly as if it was yesterday.

* * *

"No." His voice is calm and unaffected.

"I just want to see it." She begs, "I won't touch it. I promise I won't even breath on it."

"I told you, _no_." He sounds annoyed, brows pinched together.

"Do you not trust me?"

He knows he trusts her, he knows if he shows her the bracelet, nothing would happen to it. "I trust you."

"Then show me the bracelet."

There's a nagging feeling in his brain, screaming at him, telling him to show it to her. The bracelet is already on his desk, nestled safely in the dark red box but he shakes his head anyway. "I need to get ready."

He thinks he sees a flash of something in her eyes; maybe sadness or defeat. It's gone when he blinks so he pushes the thoughts and her out of his office.

"I'm not going out 'til you let me see it." She resists, pushing against him. They scuffle childishly against each other.

The door opens and Noah stares at both of them, Quinn by his side.

Finn recovers first and instantly drops his arms, the arms that were wrapped around her. "It's not what it seems."

Noah looks straight at her, his hazel eyes piercing through hers. His Mohawk standing out in the sea of neatly gelled hair.

The hustle and bustle in the office seems to fade away and she can't seem to tear her eyes away from Noah's.

"Rachel?" she widens her eyes when she realized Quinn was calling for her attention.

"Sorry, my brain just wandered away from me."

Quinn lets out a delicate and feminine giggle. "It's ok, it happens to me too." This was why there was no way Rachel could hate the blonde girl; she was too nice. "I was asking why you were in Finn's office."

Before Rachel could open her mouth to answer, Finn quickly slaps his hand over her mouth. "She was just leaving."

Seconds later, she's standing by Noah, door shut in her face, Quinn's giggle drifting from behind the closed door.

"What's in that red box?" She hears Quinn asking, knowing she was asking about the bracelet she'd been trying to get him to show her since she last saw it.

Rachel let's out a laugh, it sounds bitter, even to her own ears.

Noah wordlessly pulls her into his arms.

* * *

Defeated. Crushed. Vanquished. Creamed.

Those were all the words that ran through her head when Finn walked into the room, Quinn, grinning winningly in his arm. The bracelet, forbidden for anyone, glittering on her wrist.

A mirthless laugh escapes from her lips. It was time for her to give up. She hadn't even stood a chance against the blonde beauty.

The looks Santana gives her when Finn reads the speech Rachel had written for him don't escape her notice. The crowd loves it; laughing at the right places, clapping and hooting when he finishes.

The awkward side hug and the whispered thanks he gives her feels like a slap to the face. The fact he practically runs back to Quinn after the hug feels likes another slap to the face.

The feeling of running overwhelms her but she shakes her head and pretends that everything is okay for the rest of the evening. The tears threaten to show themselves to the whole world but she blinks them away, Santana would be there in an instant yelling at her for ruining her makeup she had so painstakingly done for her. Maybe she'd cry when she gets home, when she's alone.

She finds courage in the squeezes Noah gives her for the rest of the night, letting him drag her around from conversation to conversation. He doesn't let go of her hand the entire night and she enjoys the feeling.

* * *

"He loves you." Santana, always straight to the point.

"Who?" she pretends not to understand.

"Noah."

"That's not true." It comes out whispered and throaty. She knows she's lying to herself. She feels the lingering touches, sees the love in his eyes and hears the careful tones he uses when he talks to her.

The look Santana levels at her tells her she's not successful in lying to her either.

"I…" She trails off, not knowing what she wanted to say.

Santana knows that too, so she lets her off the hook.

* * *

"She loves you."

Finn continues to scribble against the white sheet of paper. "Who?"

"Rachel." Santana spits out.

The pen stops moving. She knew he was aware of it. He was clueless but not _that_ clueless.

"Does she?" he says it with the same tone he'd use when he'd order lunch.

Santana's hand slams against the table, disrupting the pile of neatly stacked paper on his desk.

He looks up, seemingly exasperated. "What do you want?"

"If you're going to moon over Quinn, do it. But if you hurt Rachel, I will hurt you."

"When have done anything to deserve this?"

"You knew she loved you." He opens his mouth to retort but she continues on. "Everyone sees it. She's been at your side for so many years, at your beck and call. She's been there when our father left you, for all of us. She's been there helping you write your speeches ever since you got the job. She's been there supporting your shitty ideas, even when they are crap. And what do you do? Throw her aside once Quinn comes back."

His mouth snaps shut.

She gives a satisfied smirk, places an envelope on his desk. "It's from your secretary, she's quitting."

He runs his hand through his hair, annoyance schooling his features.

"It's your third one this month. You can't expect them to do all the work you give them." Santana stabs a finger at the desk outside his office, "Only Rach could stand being your slave."

She grabs her bag to leave, finished saying everything she needed to say.

She stops at the door and turns toward him, "Noah loves her you know."

She doesn't stay to see his dumbfounded face.

* * *

She watches as Quinn places her hand on Finn's shoulder, like it always belonged there. In a way, it always had, reserved especially for her. The bracelet he had forbidden her to touch, even look at again, once again sparkling on her wrist.

"Rachel, help me with my speech?"

She looks incredulously at both of them. "I-"

"Can't." There is a weird shiver of excitement that goes through her when she hears the deep, baritone voice. "She's going out with me."

Before she can open her mouth to tell Finn that it's a lie, Noah pulls her out of the office and out of the building. She lets him because part of her wants to spend time with Noah and the other part of her wants to believe that she's letting him pull her because she doesn't want to work on Finn's speech.

They jerk to a stop in front of Noah's car, a black Lexus LFA, she'd always been weak against his car.

"Why did you pull me away?"

"You were going to do it. Did you really want to stay?"

"I-" Her eyes stay glued on his car. "I was going to say no."

He scoffs. "You're like an open book, you wear your fucking heart on your sleeves."

"So what if I was going to say yes to him? It's not a sin to help a friend."

"A friend? Are you sure that's all he is to you?"

The tears she hadn't cried last time seems to rush out. "Why do you have to do that." It doesn't come out as the question she wants it to be.

"It's because I-" He hesitates. "You want to drive?"

She accepts because she loves driving his beloved car and because they both knew what he was going to say. Both knew, she wasn't ready to hear it.

* * *

Seeing her smile brings a smile to his own lips. He watches her skipping around, from one thing to another.

She had always loved these shops; small craft boutiques.

"Noah, come look." Their earlier argument forgotten, she grabs his hand and tugs. He allows her to drag him across the room towards a wolf origami necklace. "It's cute right?"

He holds up the pig necklace, "This fits you more."

She makes a face at him, "I do not resemble a pig in anyway."

He chuckles, "I never said that."

She smacks him on the arm, "You implied it."

A woman approaches them with a grin, "You two are such a cute couple, both of you are so picturesque."

"We-"

A nudge from Noah stops her completely.

The woman grins again, "If you two have time, would you mind terribly if I took a picture to put on the wall?" Their similar masks of confusion prompts the woman to keep speaking, "I work here, and when I see couples having enjoying their time in my shop, I just can't help but want to take pictures of them."

She explains that she wanted them to wear the couple's necklace while they take the photo.

"We aren't-" Rachel is once again cut off.

"We don't mind."

Rachel whips her head towards Noah. She gives the woman a small smile, "Excuse us for a second."

Once they're out of earshot, Rachel whispers frantically, "What are you doing?"

"It's better than embarrassing her by telling her we weren't a couple." He grins, "Plus she's giving us a free necklace, why not?"

She shrugs. It didn't hurt to take a picture.

She fingers the bracelet. It was a cute idea. A interlocking key and lock bracelet and necklace set. The bracelet only to be taken off with the key on the necklace.

The shopkeeper had happily pranced around both of them, snapping photos.

They spend the rest of the time laughing and joking around the store.

* * *

"Why do I have to come along?" Santana groans.

Rachel smiles at the saleslady as she scurries off to find the correct size. "It's his birthday, I want to find something for him."

"That asshole can buy his own clothes."

She ignores Santana's complaining, browsing through the rest of the hangers. She stops in front of a linen herringbone sport coat.

She pinches the coat between her fingers, smooths her other hand across the material. The image of him wearing the jacket brings a smile to her lips. It was so him, it was formal without being restricting; with his refusal to wear ties and the sports shoes he wears with his suit, it would suit him well.

"Are you getting this?" All of a sudden, Quinn was right beside her, holding a navy suit in her hands.

She forces the smile to stay on her face, "Yea." She finds the saleslady once again, "Can I get a size 40 of this please?"

Quinn grins, "He'll look amazing in it."

She thinks so too.

* * *

"Go out on a date with me."

She blinks at him.

"It's my birthday, shouldn't you at least give me this?"

"I-" She stops. He opens his eyes wide and gives her the puppy dog face. He knew she was defenseless against it. She splutters and looks him in the eye. She sees the hopeful expression on his face and she softens. "I'd like that."

His hazel eyes light up instantly and he grabs her around the waist, pulling her off her feet and spinning her in circles.

They are both breathless from laughter when he finally puts her down on her feet.

"You can't go back on your word." She smiles softly when he says it, all innocent, like a little boy.

"Ok."

"Pinky promise."

She giggles but lifts her pinky finger and lets him entwine his around hers.

* * *

She recognizes the suit because it's the only one she didn't buy for him. It's the navy blue one Quinn bought.

"Can you help me proofread my notes tomorrow?"

She wants to laugh. When has he ever purposely seeked her out aside from work related things? She could count all the times with one hand.

"I can't."

The papers are in her hand before he realizes what she said, "Why?"

"I'm busy." she answers.

His furrowed brows tells her how confused he is. "Doing what?"

She considers not telling him, but there wasn't a reason to hide it, "I have a date with Noah."

He looks completely befuddled, "Noah? Noah as in manwhore Puck?"

"Yes, Noah, your best friend."

He narrows his eyes at her, "Why are you going out with him?"

She frowns, what's with the questions, he never cared. "He asked."

"You'd go out with any guy who asks you out?" He spits out, "I never knew you were that type of woman."

"Why are you acting like this? It's Noah. He's sweet, kind, and everything a woman wants in a man. Even Quinn thinks that we'd be good together."

"Why the hell do you think I'd allow this to happen because Quinn said so."

She feels irritation rise in her, "When have you not listened to her?" It's his turn to splutter. "You listen to everything she says, I tell you that firing the brooker was a stupid idea and do you listen? No. Why? Because Quinn said so. I tell you to hire the artist for our ads, what do you say? No. Now she's famous, what do we have? No one. Why? Because Quinn didn't like her. Do you need me to continue?"

She's panting when she's done. They both lapse into silence. She feels the anger melting away and starts to regret it.

"Where's the suit jacket you bought?" He sees the hesitance in her and laughs, "I thought it was for me."

Rachel fiddles with the papers in her hand.

He speaks up again just when she gets the courage to turn and leave. "Who was it for?"

She doesn't look him in the eyes, "Noah."

He lets out a humorless laugh, "So close, yet so far."

She puts down the papers, "I can't do this anymore. I thought it'd be fine, but I can't."

He stands up so quickly, his chair bangs roughly against the bookshelf behind his desk. The anger on his face contorts his features. She feels a shiver of unease but quickly pushes it away, she's in his office made of glass, he wouldn't do anything to her. He had no right. "You can't just leave like that!"

"Why? What's the point of me staying here with you? Ever since Quinn came back, I was immediately pushed back. My ideas, my feelings and my needs."

"I did no such thing."

She scoffs, "Was there ever a time when you put me before her?"

"I-"

"If I told you I loved you would you have said it back and meant it?" She sneers at him when he doesn't answer, "I knew I could disappear from your life without you even knowing it the day you kicked me out of the office without even showing me the fucking bracelet. Oh, I got to see the bracelet alright, see it glittering on her wrist."

He has the decency to look remorseful. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm the one who's sorry. Sorry for thinking we'd have a future together, sorry to think that you would love me back, sorry to think that you'd choose me over Quinn."

It's only when the door closes behind her, she lets her tears come.


	2. Chapter 2

**If anyone's confused, I just combined the former chapter 2 with chapter 1. If you guys have any questions, feel free to ask, I'll try my best to answer them~~**

It's been awhile since she's seen any of them. She hadn't found the courage to face Finn nor the energy to face Santana's i-told-you-so's.

Noah.

She had ignored the constant urge to contact Noah and pretended if she didn't think about it, it wasn't happening.

There was only so long she could hide.

As luck with have it, all three of them were in the lift, staring back at her.

The itch to run was so tempting but instead she smiled at all three and stepped inside.

The tension was so thick, she could have cut it with her knife.

Santana, the first one to recover, nudges her. She nods. They were going to talk whether Rachel wanted it or not.

She chances a glance at Finn in the mirror, he keeps his eyes focused on his phone. She's surprisingly doesn't really care. She likes to think that she's spent all her tears for him already.

She feels more than sees Noah's probing stare. She meets his gaze in the mirror of the elevator doors. They stay that way until the doors open. It's only then, she realizes Noah was the only thing that kept her sane during the entire elevator ride.

Before the doors could fully open, she's quickly yanked away.

He sets her down in his chair before he locks the door behind him.

"Did you tell him?"

She looks around his room, it wasn't the first time she sat in his office, in his chair. She's tempted to spin the chair so the back would hide her completely from his view.

Maybe it was the look in her eye or the fact that he could read her like an open book, he quickly braces both hands against the armrests, trapping her there.

"Did you?"

There was no escaping it. "I did."

"I'm guessing he said no?"

She laughs, "What did you think?" She tries to laugh it off, but he knows her like she knows Finn.

"He doesn't deserve you."

"I know." _But it still hurts,_ that remains unspoken but understood.

Before she can let the tears out, he's already pushing her out of the office. He throws a 'We're going out' at his secretary before snagging her purse and shutting the door behind him.

It's only when they reach his car before she speaks. "Where are we going?"

He grins boyishly at her, "The auditorium." He knows it's her favorite.

"You can drive, since you're taking me to the bookstore." she offers with a grin.

"I never knew m'lady was so generous." He shoots right back at her.

"I always was." She flicks her hair jokingly and slips into the car.

* * *

She doesn't know how it happens but they end up going out, just the two of them, every Wednesday. Sometimes they went to his house, sometimes they went to movies, and sometimes they went to the auditorium just to sit and chat. It didn't really matter where they went, it always lasted until near midnight when they unwillingly trudged home.

She sets time away for him, even when Santana asks her out, she just shrugs it away and says she's busy.

Soon, everyone around them knows better than to make plans with them on Wednesday.

* * *

"No," she shrieks and shakes her head vehemently, "I'm not watching that."

"You said you'd watch a movie with me!"

"I said I'd watch a movie, but not this one!" she collapses into his couch, "You know I hate horror movies."

"You pinky promised!" He pouts childishly. "I watched Tangled with you, you can at least watch Insidious with me." he latches onto her arm and swings it from side to side, "Let me regain my manliness."

"But…"

"Please?" He doesn't stop with the arm swinging and stares up at her, his eyes wide and innocent.

She knows she's fighting a battle she can't win. "Fine."

It's not long before her hand is in his, her grip tightening as each minute ticked by.

Noah turns to Rachel and sees her other hand covers her eyes. He gives up on watching the movie and watches her instead, her reactions and little squeals she let out. She was too cute for her own good.

Rachel begins to burrow herself into Noah. She never said she was a brave woman.

It's only when she's practically on his lap before he comments on it. "Scared?"

She hears the humor in his voice and wants to head butt him. She settles on poking him in the ribs after he finally bursts out laughing just as she cowers as another particular scary scene comes on.

"You're evil," she emphasizes it with a jab into the chest, "The devil's spawn."

"I know." Even in the dark, Rachel could tell he was grinning at her, unrepentant. "You could have said no."

"How could I?" Her hands absently began to trace shapes across his chest, "I pinky promised."

"Do you want to stop?" She hears his voice laced with slight worry.

She shakes her head but says it aloud as well in case he doesn't see it, "No, it's okay."

He's glad she doesn't want to stop the movie, he likes the way she seems to fit so well in his arms. He likes how she clung to him when she tried to hide her face in his shoulder.

For now, he didn't have to worry about Rachel's feelings for Finn or the looks Santana gave him when she saw him ogling Rachel, they could just stay like this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all your reviews, favorites and follows. It made me so happy, you guys are the best~**

"San, get pads for me." Rachel groans into the phone, "I'm dying."

She feels her heart drop to her stomach when she hears the familiar chuckle from the phone. She rips the phone from her ear and checks the caller i.d.

 _Noah._

If there was a hole she could crawl into, she'd be there right now, dying of embarrassment. Here she was, a grown woman, calling her best friend for pads, only to find out she'd told the man, who was more than a friend but not exactly a boyfriend, she was dying because of her period. _Great._

His voice pulls her from her thoughts, "Rach, babe, you there?"

"I don't want to be."

She hears his low chuckle and her embarrassment is forgotten. "You need pads, Rach?" Nevermind, it comes rushing back instantly.

"No, it's okay, I'll-"

He cuts her off, "I'll get them for you."

She splutters for an answer, grabbing at straws.

"You're at home right?"

She nods, then realizes he couldn't see her gesture she answers him, "Yea."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes." He outright laughs at her, "Change my contact name, I don't want to be 'Number 2'."

"It isn't-"

"Don't lie. No. 2, isn't cutting it, I want a better name, maybe 'Badass', 'Stud' or 'Handsome'."

She giggles over the ridiculous names before he hangs up.

* * *

"He bought pads, movies and ice cream for you?"

Rachel nods and looks around the small coffee shop, praying no one heard Santana's loud outburst.

"Lucky bitch."

Rachel gives her a smug smile, but it doesn't last long as she feels the guilt.

"Don't start." Santana lifts her hand up. "He loves you. He'd probably quit his job in the company just to please you, he knows you need time." She seems to hesitate before speaking, "But if Finn asked, he'd let you go."

"I…" she keeps her focus on her cup, "I don't want Finn anymore."

Santana's exuberant yell, gains everyone's attention. Rachel nods apologetically to everyone and pulls Santana back into her chair.

"Finally."

* * *

"I'm not going."

Noah and Santana both look at her, with twin looks of horror.

"You have to." Both of them yell out at the same time.

"I don't want to smuck with the rich and famous. I can't play nice and talk about politics." Santana throws her hands in the air. "It's always something you've done. You can spend hours and hours cooing over some overly rich, spoiled baby. I can't even talk to some rich schmuck without boring myself to death."

"Nope." She props her hand on Noah's desk.

"Why not?"

She forces her eyes to meet Noah's. "I don't have a date."

It was her first ball going without Finn.

Santana scoffs, "Go with Noah, it's not like he has a date either."

"Em," Rachel slightly reprimands. "you can't just offer up someone else when you don't even know if they want to."

"I want to." Noah quickly interrupts.

"I-" she closes her mouth again when she doesn't know what to say.

"-would love to." Santana finishes for her.

She leans toward Noah and whispers conspiratorially, but loud enough so Santana can hear, "How do you take her out without adult supervision?"

Noah laughs, throwing his head back, while Santana huffs and slaps her arm.

"I'll pick you up at 6?"

She nods, because what else could she do?

He ruffles her hair and drops a kiss to the top of her hair. He gets up and walks to the door before leveling the two women with a look, "Don't touch the laptop."

* * *

"Stupid Christmas ball. I'm just gonna wear sweatpants."

Noah looks up from his seat on her sofa. "What color do you think your sweatpants are going to match, I've gotta match it, ya' know?"

She giggles, "Hot pink."

"Sure." He knows she's not going to do that, everything she did had to be perfect.

She flops down onto the sofa, next to him, her legs naturally draped on top of his. "So much for picking me up at 6."

"I wanted to see you."

She rolls her eyes at his excuse, "Please, you just wanted to watch tv without Finn and San nagging you about it."

"No," He doesn't even blink an eye or let his eyes stray from the tv.

She crosses her arm and waits. She knows he's going to cave.

"It's because your tv is bigger."

She rolls her eyes again at his response.

* * *

There was a selfish part of her, the meaner part of her that wanted to watch Finn struggle with the uppity ups in the party.

So she did.

She stood next to Quinn and Finn, silent, carefully sipping from her champagne. She watched on as all Quinn did was giggle. She held in a small smile as Finn struggled to bring up names of the person he was talking to. She had always been the one standing next to him, whispering him the names and little, but thoughtful tidbits.

Mr. Schue, a nice, but blunt man, who was also a big investor, eyed her then Finn. "Why aren't you two together?"

Finn tries to splutter some excuse about it being more efficient if they split up during the party **.**

She quickly locates Noah talking to some woman further away from the room. It's as if he had a built in radar to spot whenever she looked over at him, he looked up and met her eyes. She crooked a finger at him. His grin was so innocent and hopeful, she felt that pang in her heart again. He quickly excuses himself from the woman and practically runs to them.

She turns back to Mr. Schue just as Noah reaches them and easily slips his arm around her waist. "This is Noah, my date."

"It's nice meeting you." Noah stretches out his hand.

Handshakes are quickly exchanged.

Mr. Schue gives her a weird look, "I thought you were Finn's girlfriend. You two always seemed so close, but I guess I was wrong." He stares at them for a while before smiling. "I wish you two the best of luck."

She smiles graciously at Mr. Schue, "Thank you."

Noah snakes his arm around her waist and it's like all the mean thoughts against Quinn and Finn disappears.

She then turns to Finn and Quinn, "This is Quinn, you're probably going to be seeing her around quite a lot." Smiles are exchanged. "I hope your wife is well, I heard she's been sick with the flu for a while now."

* * *

Rachel buried her face in her hands as Noah clambered up the stage.

When his drunk ass finally made it up the stage, he leaned against the mike, "This is for Rach, the girl of my dreams."

He presses two fingers to lips and presses them to his chest, over his heart. The girls beside her giggled and cooed over the mushy gesture.

She felt a blush rising on her face when he pointed to her as he sang.

"God, how gross can he be." Santana complained.

"He is inebriated." She defended.

"Don't defend lover boy, I don't need to imagine you two sucking faces yet."

She ignored Santana and placed her attention back to the stage.

She swallowed her urge to rip the blonde extensions from the girl currently trying to push her boobs against Noah's arm. He, being drunk and oblivious to the attention, continued to joke around with her and Santana.

It was the final straw when the girl, being frustrated with the lack of attention, just plopped herself onto his lap and pulled his head down for a kiss.

Later Santana tells her she practically threw herself at the girl and ripped her off Noah. But it being Santana, she wants to believe that she's exaggerating as usual.

She remembers yanking Noah out the door in seconds and into a taxi not long after. She remembers listening to Noah's slurred attempts to explain himself. She remembers telling him to shut up.

But she doesn't remember how she ends up in his bed, only in her bra and panties.

The arm wrapped around her waist doesn't help, nor does the leg stuck between hers. Her back is tightly pressed to his hard chest.

She lays there, scrambling to find the memories she had somehow lost.

"Good mornin' beautiful."

She stiffens slightly. He feels it and loosen his hold on her, giving her the option of leaving his hold.

"Good morning." She whispers the greeting back, "Merry Christmas." She keeps her back faced to him because she isn't ready to face him yet. In the flashes of memories, she remembers sucking on his neck, him lifting her shirt off her. Neither was particularly modest. _Very_ shame inducing.

"Merry Christmas." He repeats, his voice still husky with sleep. She feels his thumb absently tracing circles on her stomach, his other hand, the one under her neck, twirling her hair.

They stay like that for a while.

"We should get breakfast." He says.

"We should."

Neither of them move. She doesn't move because she likes the feeling. He doesn't move because he knows she's going to avoid him like a plague or pretend nothing happened, once she had time to think it over.

He wasn't going to let that happen. He had made so much progress not to let it be screwed over because of one night, not because she thought it was safer this way.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm busy."

He takes another step closer, "Doing what?"

She quickly takes a step back.

"Stuff." She stutters, her normal wide range vocabulary list evaporating into thin air.

 _A step closer._

"What stuff?" His eyes don't leave hers, his hazel piercing her brown ones.

 _A step back._

"Work stuff." She wants to slap herself with the flimsy excuse, she knew he'd see through instantly.

 _A step closer._

"It's a holiday today." He can't help the small smile on his lips when her back hits the wall.

"I-I have…" Whatever she wanted to say dies on her lips when he leans down, both arms easily caging her against the wall. Every thought she had is quickly wiped away when she feels his breath on her lip.

She feels the warmth radiating from his body.

He takes advantage of the situation, "Are you over Finn?" His question is blunt.

"I'm…" she desperately tries to unscramble her thoughts, "I'm not completely over him."

Her tongue darts out to lick her bottom lip.

She watches his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows.

They both stay like that until his phone rings, jarring both of them from their positions.

She jumps away and he clears his throat.

She valiantly pretends not to notice him shifting on his feet. He clears his throat before he brings the phone to his ear.

She pushes away from the wall and thinks about slipping out the door.

His eyes stray to her and she feels his big, warm hand on her arm.

So much for running away. Her eyes drop down to his hand, whenever they were together, they were always touching, small touches; shoulders brushing, his hands on the small of her back, her hand on his arm.

He ends his call soon afterwards and stuffs the phone in his back pocket. The action pulling the shirt tight across his chest and arms.

The sight makes her freeze in her spot. It wasn't the first time she's noticed his body this way, but it's been awhile since she's seen it at such an intimate setting.

"Rach?"

She snaps her eyes away to meet his amused hazel ones. "I-I was thinking."

His smirk is proof he doesn't believe her.

"Whatever you say, Rach. Whatever you say."

* * *

"When you two are done making googly eyes at each other, can we start talking about Finn's failure to sign the last two contracts."

Santana pushed past the both of them hesitating in front of the doorway, splitting them right in the middle.

She turned to glare at Santana, while Noah just chuckled. "We were not." she huffs adamantly.

Santana's raised eyebrow just makes her want to stomp her foot.

Noah shrugs and seats himself at the head of the table. Santana settles at his right while she makes a face before ungracefully slumping into the one at his left.

"Start talking bossman."

* * *

"Rachel, would you mind accompanying me to the party tomorrow?"

She quickly ran through all her plans in her mind. She had half a mind to refuse Finn's request, but he sounded so desperate, a tone she rarely ever heard from him.

Santana laughed a smidge scornfully, "Isn't Quinn going with you? I heard you asking her last night."

She quickly butts in, knowing his answer would either be that Quinn was busy or the fact that he needed her to meet some uppity up. "What time is it?"

She sees him breathe a sigh of relieve and the look Santana sends her.

"It's at 6. It's just a casual thing with his friends, so jeans."

"Who is he?" she asked, just to be sure.

"Mr. Schue."

She nods, she's been to his casual parties before, lots of mixing and schmoozing.

"I'll pick you up?" He asks, already assuming she'd go.

She hesitates, he'd never really offered to pick her up. "It's ok, I can get there myself, I've been there before."

He frowns a bit before he nods his thanks and walks off without a second glance.

When he's out of sight, Santana instantly latches onto her arm, "I thought you were over him." she whispers furiously.

She laughs at Santana's mulishness against her older brother. "I am. I just want to see if I'm completely over him or I was just… distracted."

Santana cocks her head to the side, a satisfied smirk replace her previous frown, "Distracted, huh?" She then makes a face at her, "Why do you get all the men flocking to you?"

Rachel slaps her shoulder before sticking her tongue at Santana and walking away. "Green is not your color."

* * *

"Which do you think is better? The skirt or the shorts?" She flashes both items in front of Noah's face.

He moves his eyes away from her face to the two things in her hands, then frowns. He stands up from her bed and sticks his head into her closet, pulling out a pair of long pants and a granny sweater.

"This is better."

"Don't be silly." She laughs and smacks his arm lightly. "It's so hot outside."

"Well you deserve it."

She mocks frown, "Why?"

"You're ditching me. Today is Wednesday, it's supposed to be our day." It's cute the way he's pouting.

"I know," She drops the clothes on the back of her chair and pulls Noah down next to her on the bed, "I want to be sure I'm over him. I don't want to have this awkwardness between the two of us. I'm just hoping I can still be friends with him."

"Do I have a chance then?"

She draws shapes on his wrist with her hand. It was the first time they talked about his feelings for her. She's talked about it with Santana, but it was different.

She watches his expression, it's hopeful yet hesitant. She smiles softly at him, "You do."

She's proud she put that grin on his face.

His fingers thread through hers. He knows that's the extent of their talk, so he chuckles, "It'd be awkward when I wife you."

* * *

"Are you okay?" Noah's face is filled with concern.

She waves it away, "I'm fine."

She drops down a bunch of papers on his desk and leaves his room before he can even question it.

It's not until the next day he finally sees her. When she sees him approaching her, she instantly grabs Finn and moves away.

Undeterred, he follows behind with a tiny frown.

"For the ads-" she stops talking the instant he walks into the room.

Noah stands at the doorway, blocking the only exit.

Finn looks confusedly between the two of them. "I'm going to go…" He tugs his arm out of her grip and slips by Noah.

Noah pushes away from the wall as Finn shuts the door behind him.

She turns her back to him and diddles around with the things on the table. She clears her throat and tucks her hair behind her ears.

He doesn't speak yet, he just moves in front of her, gently lifts chin up with his thumb and forefinger.

"Why are you running away from me?" He asks when she finally meets his eyes. "I thought we were ok."

"I'm not." Her reply was too quick. Both of them know it.

He waits for her to cave, she was going to eventually.

"I'm not ready for it, you've been by my side forever, what if I lose you? You're the only one who hasn't hurt me." Tears suddenly pool in her eyes, her voice is soft when she speaks again, "I don't want it to change."

He softens, "Nothing's going to change."

"How will you know that? Can you predict the future? Do you know-"

His lips meet hers, cutting her. It's doesn't take long for him to feel her smile against his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

"My feelings for him was like a wine stained dress. I loved the dress. Somewhere I thought I'd have time or a chance to get the stain off and wear it again, but it's impossible."

This time she was smart enough to have their talk in the privacy of her own room.

The grin on Santana's face was an indication she liked where the conversation was heading. "So you're moving on to a better dress? One that you can wear out to public?"

"I'm over him." She shifted so she could sit cross legged on her bed, "I think I'm ready for a new dress."

Santana leaps up and shakes her shoulders, "When are you going to tell Noah?"

"I think he has a feeling about it already," She looks down at her comforter, "W-we kissed."

Santana's shriek is deafening. "Are you two going to date?"

"I…" she fiddles with the pillow in her arms, "I want to."

* * *

"Where are we going?"

Noah ushers her into his car, "You'll know when you get there, Rach."

She manages to stay quiet for a total of 3 minutes before she begins asking questions again.

"It's supposed to be a surprise Rach."

She mocks pout, "Isn't this the way to the bookstore?"

"No?"

She laughs because that was exactly where they were heading. She leans back and crosses her leg. The material of her skirt crept up her thighs, giving him a glimpse of long, seemingly, endless smooth, olive skin. His thoughts instantly begin to wander, it's a while before he hears her.

The teasing is unmistakable in her voice.

"You know you're in wrong lane, right?"

* * *

She prods at the wrapped gift, she was dying to open it, but Santana made her swear to wait until she got there so they could open it together.

The only clue Noah had given her was to read it. It was obvious it was a book, but she wanted to know why.

She grabbed her laptop and tried to focus at the work on hand, but the present seemed to pull her attention towards it. Before she could give in to the temptation to open the wrapper, Santana came barging in, hair askew and briefcase barely closed.

She stares at her friend before giving in to the snort, "What happened to you?"

Santana rolls her eyes and just gives her a noncommittal answer about a motorcycle.

She files it away for later as Santana pounces on the present. "Hurry up and open it."

She unceremoniously rips apart the wrapping paper and is faced with book and a tab sticking out of it.

Going directly to the tab, she pulls it to the page.

Santana leans over her shoulder to read the text he highlighted, then proceeds to squeal.

She sits there staring at the words.

 _Will you be my girlfriend?_

It's highlighted, underlined, and circled, there was no way she could pretend she didn't see it.

She stares at the post-it note underneath the question.

' _So what will it be?_

 _A. Of Course!_

 _B. Option A!_

 _C. Both A and B.'_

"Cocky, isn't he?" Santana says, once she stops shrieking.

All she does is nod mutely as Santana tosses her a pen.

She clicks the pen, watching the tip slowly extend. She hesitates before she places the pen against the paper.

She was over Finn, she knew she had feelings for Noah, but the pessimistic side of her had to take over.

What if they ended up badly? She'd lose him. It'd be hard to be the way it was before.

She voices her concerns out when Santana asks.

Santana laughs, "He loves you, Rach."

"I know."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Right." She hears the satisfying scratch of pen against paper.


	6. Chapter 6

**OMG. So sorry guys, I posted chapter 6 for chapter 5, so you can go back and read it if you wanna~~~ Thank you for all the reviews, follows, favorites and reminders that I did such a dumb thing XD**

* * *

"You hid it where?" It was more of baffled shock than an actual question.

"I know," she slumped against the kitchen counter, "it was a bad idea to hide it under his pillow."

Santana continued to stare at her.

"I was too embarrassed to give it to him."

"Imagine when you're kissing him, what are you going to do? Kiss his pillow before he sleeps so he can kiss it later when you're not there?"

* * *

"I didn't know you were capable of such sweetness."

Noah shot his sister a look before looking back down at his files, "What?"

"The present, the book." Santana prompts.

"Oh, that." He frowned, looking a bit miffed.

She turned to him, confused. "Didn't you find it?"

"Find it?"

"The book? Her reply?" The shake of his head confirmed her suspicions. "That's why you've been acting like a perpetual grinch the entire week."

He grunts a non reply.

"It's somewhere in your room." Santana just laughs at her brother's misery as she skips out the room, goal accomplished.

* * *

Noah looks around his bedroom, scanning the possible places Rachel could have hidden the book.

He tackles the bed first because knowing Rachel, she would easily bypass the closet due to a bad memory of 7 minutes in heaven with a creepyass, jewfro in middle school. It had been a while before she could face a closet without cringing.

The successful whoop he lets out is embarrassing, but he doesn't care as long as the book is in his hands.

He carefully sets the book and hesitates before he touches the tab, blue, because it's her favorite color.

Like ripping off a band aid, he smoothly opens the book to the page he wanted.

* * *

The satisfied smirk nestled on Santana's face tells them everything as she walks by.

She hides her red face in the crook of Noah's neck. "I told you not to do this."

The chuckle reverberating from his chest shows he doesn't feel the same way, "We're just holding hands, it's normal for a _couple_."

She knows her face has become as red as a tomato. "We're in the office, everyone can see."

As if to prove her point, Mike from the room next to her walks stops in front of them. "Finally! I thought you two would never get together." He pats Noah on the back before giving her a smile and walking away.

The smirk Noah levels at her makes her blush even more prominent.

"I hate you." She smacks his chest once and power walks back to her office before anyone else could witness her embarrassment.

He catches up to her once she's safely behind the closed doors of her office.

"You love me." His lips are lifted into a mischievous grin. She pretends to ignore him, but he doesn't let up and grabs her wrist. With a smooth jerk of his arm, she twirls right into his chest. "I love you."

She braces her arms against his hard chest, his warm breath hits her neck. "I don't need you to say it back, I just want you to know that-."

"I love you, Noah."

Later he tells her that those weren't tears in his eyes, after all badasses don't cry.

* * *

She was the one to spot the photo booth, Noah surprised her by easily agreeing, it usually took her hours of probing and cajoling to get him to take photos with her. She often wondered why, he was sculpted like a greek god, had looks many men would die to have and often came out quite photogenic in photos.

She shrugged it away as she pulled him into the photo booth behind her.

He easily pulls her on his lap so she's nestled to his left.

He nudges her and she presses the start button, wriggling happily as she waits for the countdown.

She watches him from the reflection in the monitor. He just gives her a smile.

First photo: they both smile at the camera.

Second photo: she closes her eyes to kiss his cheek.

Third photo: he opens the small velvet box in front of her.

Fourth photo: she has her hands in front of her mouth, a classical shocked expression on her face as she stares at the ring in his hand.

The shriek and the resounding 'yes' echoes across the mall.

It's a year later when they finally say their I do's in front of their friends and family.


End file.
